Damon Wayans Jr. may come from one of the funniest families in show business, but with his roles on New Girl and Happy Endings (RIP), he's been cracking us up hard all on his own. When Damon isn't making us LOL on screen, he brings his hilarious musings to Twitter; on any given day, you can find Damon getting candid about dating, pop culture, and not being a morning person. Keep reading for 21 tweets from Damon that will have you laughing your ass off.
You know you're not a morning person when you think people are saying "good morning" to you just to piss you off.
— Damon Wayans Yunior? (@wayansjr) February 24, 2015
"I'm gonna put this wig on, I'm gonna go outside, and it's gonna work." - old lady wearing a wig that doesn't work
— Damon Wayans Yunior? (@wayansjr) February 22, 2015
You ever be getting yelled at by your mom and think "NOW I see why dad left"?
— Damon Wayans Yunior? (@wayansjr) January 30, 2015
Kids give zero fucks about who they pick their wedgies out in front of
— Damon Wayans Yunior? (@wayansjr) January 28, 2015
If I had a dollar for every time someone gave me a dollar
— Damon Wayans Yunior? (@wayansjr) January 21, 2015
This dude just proposed to his girl in chipotle. He for sure doesn't love her.
— Damon Wayans Yunior? (@wayansjr) February 14, 2015
What is it about being a mom that makes you tell the same damn stories over and over again?
— Damon Wayans Yunior? (@wayansjr) February 11, 2015
"Nah, son." - Rosa Parks
— Damon Wayans Yunior? (@wayansjr) February 25, 2015
So good, it should be called vaJOYna
— Damon Wayans Yunior? (@wayansjr) January 12, 2015
How many times a day do girls say "Awwww." ?
— Damon Wayans Yunior? (@wayansjr) January 10, 2015
I need to get married. Married guys get allll the bitches.
— Damon Wayans Yunior? (@wayansjr) January 3, 2015
Dear Beyonce, please poot in my soup.
— Damon Wayans Yunior? (@wayansjr) December 31, 2014
Been a while since I've read an actual magazine. I accidentally double tapped one of the pictures I liked in it.
— Damon Wayans Yunior? (@wayansjr) December 13, 2014
"@MrJakeJohnson: Everyone go see my son from my first marriage @wayansjr movie Big Hero 6 this weekend. #BigHero6" > you ain't my damn daddy
— Damon Wayans Yunior? (@wayansjr) November 4, 2014
While ya'll sleep, I grind......my teeth while I'm sleeping as well. #ZaddyNeedsHisNaps
— Damon Wayans Yunior? (@wayansjr) October 15, 2014
Why are people who don't do shit ALWAYS getting massages?
— Damon Wayans Yunior? (@wayansjr) August 23, 2014
"Oh my God, that's sooo me." - every woman's thoughts while watching 'Gone Girl'
— Damon Wayans Yunior? (@wayansjr) October 4, 2014
Yo, bugs bunny was fine as hell in drag tho. http://ift.tt/1BA7Ioz
— Damon Wayans Yunior? (@wayansjr) September 13, 2014
Just walked past this car with a dog in it, and the dog locked the door.
#whiteMansBestFriend
— Damon Wayans Yunior? (@wayansjr) October 25, 2014
I've never done acid before, but I assume it's a lot like watching the new sponge bob movie. #IdLoveAcid
— Damon Wayans Yunior? (@wayansjr) February 8, 2015
Nothing makes a girl happier than when every girl in the group pic looks wack but her.
— Damon Wayans Yunior? (@wayansjr) October 21, 2014
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