Mindy Kaling shares her thoughtful guide to confidence in the September issue of Glamour, dishing out smart advice in an excerpt from her new book, Why Not Me?. The actress and writer explains how hard work is the key to confidence, touching on how success, bravery, and looks factor in - or don't. Keep reading for some of Mindy's smartest gems, then check out Mindy's most quotable moments plus all the times you perfectly understood Mindy Lahiri, her character on The Mindy Project.
- On being brave: "You need the tiniest bit of bravery. People get scared when you try to do something, especially when it looks like you're succeeding. People do not get scared when you're failing. It calms them. That's why the show Intervention is a hit and everyone loves 'worrying' about Amanda Bynes. But when you're winning, it makes them feel like they're losing or that maybe they should've tried to do something too, but now it's too late. And since they didn't, they want to stop you. You can't let them."
- On getting your confidence back: "Work hard, know your sh*t, show your sh*t, and then feel entitled. Listen to no one except the two smartest, kindest adults you know (that doesn't always mean your parents). If you do that, you'll be fine."
- On why looks aren't everything: "Looks are not the whole story. Actors with long careers may or may not be gorgeous, but they usually have charisma, and all of them exude one thing: confidence. Yes, a lot of them are good-looking, but from my 11 years in Hollywood I have learned a secret: 'Good-looking' by Hollywood standards is achievable by every human on the planet. Every average-looking American is just a treadmill and six laser-hair removal sessions away from looking like Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively (who are a great couple, by the way)."
- On how hard work plays into confidence: "I know I sound like some dour chambermaid on Downton Abbey who has never felt a man's touch and whose heart has turned to stone, but I don't understand how you could have confidence if you don't do the work. I work a lot. Like, a lot a lot. I must have been watching TV as a kid and that cartoon parable about the industrious ants and the lazy grasshopper came on at a vital moment when my soft little brain was hardening, and the moral of it was imprinted on me. I'm hyperprepared for whatever I set my mind to do, which makes me feel deserving of professional success."
- On how she doesn't hate herself: "If you would like to have less confidence, one way is to constantly care about how people think you suck. People's reaction to me is sometimes, 'Uch, I don't like her. She thinks she's so great.' But it's not that I think I'm so great; I just don't hate myself. I do idiotic things all the time and I say crazy stuff I regret, but I don't let everything traumatize me. And the scary thing I've noticed is that people feel really uncomfortable about women who don't hate themselves."
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